“I’ve heard it both ways.”
“No you haven’t.”
“Hey now- no wait, you’re right, I haven’t.”
“Yes I am, no you haven’t.”
“Get off your intoxicated horse.”
“It’s high horse, Shawn.”
“I’ve heard it both ways, but that’s beside the point. I’m right. You’re wrong. And also, I’m right in this instance. Intoxicated and high can be the same thing.”
“That’s alcohol, Shawn.”
“It’s both! I have literally heard it both ways! Twice!”
“Okay, who has ever said, ‘clicker,’ for ‘remote?’”
“My dad. And actually, us. But that’s just before our time.”
“So are 80’s movies, seeing as we were born in 1977 and didn’t take an active interest in movies until we were 13, but no one ever seems to notice that.”
“Exactly. Seriously, google it on that super intelligent smart phone of yours.”
“You have an iPhone too, Shawn.”
“Well yeah, but I have the 3S, you have the 4S. I have 300 thingies of data a month, you have 1500, and I’d really rather not have to pay an extra twenty bucks.”
“I pay your phone bills, Shawn.”
“So do you want to spend twenty smackers on me proving you wrong? Thirdly, I wanna talk to Siri. She seems hot.”
“A couple things are wrong with your last three senten- actually, this entire conversation is wrong- sentences. A. Why do I pay your phone bills, Shawn? You are a grown ass man.”
“Arguable.”
“B. Siri can’t help us find out of ‘clicker’ is a thing.”
“Hey Siri! Google ‘clicker’!”
“She can’t hear you, Shawn. C1. You have a girlfriend C2. Siri is a computer program. Which one of those is worse.”
“I think you are being rather close minded here. People have married their cars.”
“Would you marry the Blueberry?”
“You called it the Blueberry!”
“Would you?”
“I already did. In Vegas. You remember. You were my best man. Oh wait, just kidding, that was a turtle. You know, because I’d rather have a small mammal be my best man in a wrong-in-every-way wedding than my best friend.”
“I’m fairly certain turtles aren’t mammals, Shawn.”
“Siri! Google ‘turtle cheesecake mammary!’ …mammalosity? Mammimal? Mammoth wooliness?”
“Shawn.”
“You’re just scared that I’m right.”
“Shawn, I don’t care if you’re right, alright?”
“So… I’m right, right?”
Story Notes:
123456789 thanks to Susan, Morgan and Riley, who read it and mostly told me it wasn't funny. But thank you MORGAN for making me post it anyway.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Muah! I haven't posted anything in a long time. For you I have an exclamation. Explanation, you say? I've heard it both ways.
No seriously, I am literally in the works of plotting out Midnight Ramblings in it's entirety and am already on chapter five. So, you know, that one might actually have a plot. Also, I have five one-shots 1/4 written, that the plot bunnies have not given me the rest of just yet. So, you'll be seeing those... someday. I really am trying to focus on Midnight Ramblings though. You should read that. I think it's good. Also, omg I'm so mean. You don't know why yet. Isn't it great, having a plot?! Okay, I'll shut up now. Sorry, it's uh... midnight. ;D
JK, one more thing: this kind of writing- dialogue only- is totally not my style, so please use your imagination. K, bye for real now.
No seriously, I am literally in the works of plotting out Midnight Ramblings in it's entirety and am already on chapter five. So, you know, that one might actually have a plot. Also, I have five one-shots 1/4 written, that the plot bunnies have not given me the rest of just yet. So, you'll be seeing those... someday. I really am trying to focus on Midnight Ramblings though. You should read that. I think it's good. Also, omg I'm so mean. You don't know why yet. Isn't it great, having a plot?! Okay, I'll shut up now. Sorry, it's uh... midnight. ;D
JK, one more thing: this kind of writing- dialogue only- is totally not my style, so please use your imagination. K, bye for real now.
Chapter End Notes:
If this isn't funny, please pretend it is.
I am so convinced it isn't.
I am so convinced it isn't.
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