“Excuse me! If I may have your attention please!”

Conversations halted and died as all attention turned to where Shawn was climbing up on a desk.

Lassiter's to be specific.

“I'd like to thank you all for coming today-”

“To work?” Lassiter asked. “Like we do every day?”

Shawn ignored him.

“It's a very special group we're honoring and they deserve a big round of applause.” He started clapping and, even though no one had any clue what he was talking about, they all joined in after a moment or two.

“Spencer, what the hell-”

Shawn neatly sidestepped Lassiter's hand, but otherwise didn't show any notice that he was aware of the other man's existence.

“We wanted something big and fancy, something to blow all of your little cotton socks off, but renting out the Thunderdome is,” Shawn laughed, “really more expensive than I think is allowed by law and apparently you can't close the beaches for a private ceremony unless you are, again, willing to pay lots of money. Which is absurd.”

“Mr. Spencer, what are you doing?”

“Chief! Just in time! I'm about to read my poem!” He beamed.

“Poem?” Juliet asked, eyebrows rising.

“Yes, Jules,” Shawn said, hand coming over his heart. “Beneath this warrior's physique lies a poet's soul.”

“Really,” she said, voice dry as the Sahara as she crossed her arms over her chest. “This I have got to hear.”

Shawn cleared his throat.

“Chief, you can't honestly be allowing this,” Lassiter interrupted before he could begin. “We have work to do!”

Lassiter had a point, but damn if Karen wasn't curious about this supposed poem. “Mr. Spencer, how long will this take?”

Lassiter stared in shock.

“Not very long. I promise. But we have to wait for the rest of the special guests- AH!” he crowed, spotting his father and Gus entering the station. He pointed. “There they are!”

“Shawn, I got your message,” Henry said. “What is this about?”

“That's what I'd like to know,” Gus added. “And then I'd like to know why exactly Mrs. Pickles is getting a sex change operation.”

“Oh Gus, it's not her fault. Personally, I think it was all those episodes of Supernatural you let her watch. Now she's all gender confused because she wants to be just like Sam and Dean, right down to-”

“ANYWAY,” Lassiter interrupted. Again. “If you're going to read your poem, read your damn poem.”

Gus just glared at Shawn.

“We can talk about that later,” Shawn conceded. “Now, it is time! Time to read the list of winners.”

“Winners?” Juliet asked softly of no one in particular.

Another dramatic clearing of his throat as various expressions of resignation and blatant curiosity shifted over the faces below him.

“The psychic is fake, but the detective is real, on the show that we all love so dearly.
It's the reason we all gather here at this site, without which our lives would be dreary.
We write the stories that we want to be told, but which never will make it to the screen –
Be it mysteries, romances, hurt/comfort or angst, a tag or a long missing scene.

Psychfic sees hundreds of stories each year, each different and unique on its own
Epic tales and short drabbles, funny bits and sad fables, none of those remains here unknown.
And each year we gather to honour these stories, the stories which we love the best
Of the many fantastic authors and tales with which this site has been blessed.

It's the time again, please gather around, to celebrate the 2nd Psychfic Awards!
The choice wasn't easy, the race it was close, really – the competition was hard.
But in the end we have found them, you all placed your votes to find out which ones you liked best,
So now I will stop with those general rhymes, and let you see who won this contest.

"American Duo" is all about friendship, the category for all things Gus and Shawn.
Their dynamic is witty, juvenile is their banter, but guaranteed to never make you yawn.
And the one thing that's sure is that whatever happens, Shawn and Gus will face it all together,
And the story that transports this thought the best is CollegeKid's "Beyond Fair Weather".

"Best Angst" means those stories that make you shiver all over, make you bite your nails and be scared
For the fate of our heroes, their loved ones, their health – fears for which nothing could have you prepared.
These stories they leave you sweating and breathless, they set your deepest fears free,
But this year no story managed to do so quite like "Lingering Chill" by s_c.

"Best Bad Guy" honors the villains around here, the criminals, psychos and madmen –
In short, the antiheroes which we need to let all of our mysteries happen.
Shawn always finds them, Lassie arrests them, the DA puts them in front of a jury.
These evil creeps are the salt of our stories, none better than Mae in dragonann's "Fury".

"Best Banter" really explains itself – it's about dialogue full of wisecrack and wit.
It's entire stories that put smiles on our faces because the words simply all seem to fit.
The winner in this round makes all other stories seem like a verbal cease-fire.
"A psychic, a hunter and a werewolf walk into a bar", written by our windscryer.

"Best Episode Tag/Best Missing Scene" is the story that tells us the best
What happened after the credits rolled, or while commercials gave us the rest.
It's telling a story that remains untold on screen, where we authors pick up the slack
And the best one this time undoubtedly was GBFreak's "The Return of Uncle Jack".

"Best Mystery" is the story that gives our heroes the hardest puzzle to solve,
The story in which the most intriguing plotlines slowly but surely evolve.
But Shawn is the best detective in town, to the criminal mastermind's dismay,
The best mystery this year, let me tell you this, was "House-Arrested Development" by CK.

"Best Reviewer" is our way to say "Thank You" to all those who reliably leave their thoughts.
It's a small gesture that means a lot to an author, it's the direct feedback they sought.
Reviews are what we all write for, it's what helps us get better, something to which no author says nay,
And the one reviewer that brightened the hearts of many, well – this year that one was Stray.

"Best Romance" awards the story that deals best with the topic of love,
On Psych that mostly means Juliet and Shawn, a relationship no one gets sick of.
Be it sappy or romantic, cheerful or sad, romance is never a bother
And our biggest romantic is Morgan Adams with her story "Never Lie to Your Mother".

"Best Short" explains itself pretty well on its own – it's the best story that isn't too long,
No more than three chapters, a one-shot it is, but really – short isn't wrong.
It's an art to wrap up a story so quick without becoming wordcount-wise a yielder,
And the best short story this year is "The Complexities of Silverware Relationships" by TheGreatSporkWielder.

"Best Standalone" is for all those Moments, those 100-Words and –Themes
That might never get finished but still are held in our highest esteems.
This year for the first time we award these tales– the one-shots that caught our eye,
So the first winner for this one is subliminal_muse and the story "For This Shawn Spencer Would Die".

"Best Use of Pineapple" – Shawn Spencer will laugh, because he loves the tropical fruit
But it's not only for eating, as these stories have shown, and they're all amazing to boot.
Pineapple Heads and missing fruit – the ideas for these stories were splendid,
But in the end only one of them could win: October's "The Day The World Almost Ended".

"Boo-Boo Award", this one will hurt! It's the story of the best way
To injure our heroes and bring them to harm, disregarding what they have to say.
We shoot them and beat them, we knock them around, we use knives to express our love.
But dragonann's "Fury" this time was the best in not treating our heroes with kid-gloves.

"How Many Hats?" – that's the question defining the way Henry and Shawn go about
their complicated relations and difficult past, the hurt, love, pain, trust and the doubt.
It's the best story that deals with these two and their problems, they really are two of a kind
And no other story captures father and son like CK's "The Ties That Bind."

"Most Psych-Like" is the reward for the tale that captures the show's spirit best –
The humor, the friendship, the mystery plots, the visions, the wit and the rest.
It's what we all strive for, what we try to achieve, the honor that we try to gain.
And this year the award goes to "Shawn and the Friendly Neighborhood Stalker" by Nixa Jane.

"Most Psych-Like Title", this award is new. The show gives us a great example
Of how amazing a title can be, how much humor it holds. Of great titles the show has ample.
So which of our stories conveyed it the best, which one was this year's screamer?
Tooth Fairies, Easter Bunnies, it's far too long – but the author was Last_Dreamer.

"Most Wanted WIP" that means the story we crave to see finished.
By awarding this prize we tell the author that our interest hasn't diminished.
There's many unfinished stories out there, so many stories we love
But the Most Wanted WIP this year is "Every Dog Has Its Sick Day" by mav.

The "SBPD Award" is for all the stories that deal with our most favorite cops in the world.
It's Juliet and Lassie, Chief Vick and McNab, and the cases that they have unfurled.
In stories about them we see how the law and police work come really alive
Like in windscryer and MusicalLuna's "The Secret Santa Debacle of 2005".

The "You Astound Me Award" is for the stories that tell us more about Shawn and Lassie,
The fake psychic and the real detective, stories about these two are classy.
There are many of those stories, but none was better, none was more fun and more insane
Than "Shawn and the Friendly Neighborhood Stalker" by Nixa Jane.

And finally there is just one more left to give, just one more prize to award.
"Best Overall Writer" – best author on the site, the best one in a talented horde.
The one writer whose stories we wait for, whose tales are everyone's top picks.
And that very best writer this year is no other than our CollegeKid06.

Those were this year's awards! The votes have been counted, the pineapples have exchanged hands.
There were so many great stories over the past year that have taken us into fantastic dream lands
Where our heroes kept having adventures even long after the credits on the show rolled past.
And while this year's awards were a great fun to see, I sure hope they won't be the last!

Golden Pineapples we've given to the authors and stories that entertained us the most,
And it's been a pleasure to make rhymes about that, but before I raise my glass in a toast –
Remember all the Silver and Bronze Pineapples that weren't implied in these rhymes
'Cause all these stories were amazing and fantastic reads, all guaranteed good times.

Let's celebrate this year's awards, and the site, let's all raise our glasses to this:
To Psychfic! To JessicaRae! To the community we wouldn't want to miss!
This site itself and the friendships it forged, has earned the biggest award – I'm sincere.
So to Psychfic let's toast, to the site and one thing – to another wonderful year!”

He bowed and got a smattering of applause.

But in every audience there must be a critic.

“Spencer, that wasn't even poetry!”

Shawn gave Lassiter a long, disdainful up and down stare. “Well who died and made you e.e. cummings? It totally rhymed! And quite impressively, too.”

Karen just shook her head, an amused smile on her face as she returned to her office.

“It did rhyme, Spencer,” Lassiter said dryly. “I'll give you that.”

Juliet was studiously trying to focus on the file in her hands, though her lips kept curving upwards and faint pink blush lit her cheeks.

“Exactly! It rhymed, thus, poetry!”

Henry left, muttering something under his breath about too much free time and not nearly enough real work with a barely discernible addition of a shed that needed to be cleaned out.

“No, Shawn, he's right,” Gus said. “The meter didn't even match from stanza to stanza.”

“Gus, don't be ridiculous! This has nothing to do with Seinfeld!”

Lassiter seemed to have gotten lost in thought, but now he spoke up.

“Spencer, what was that first line again?”

Shawn brought the paper to his chest, guarding it.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Because-” Lassiter started, but he was cut off.

“Well you're wrong.”

“Spencer! You don't even know what I was going to say!”

“Yes I do. And you're wrong.”

Lassiter grit his teeth.

“So help me Spencer, if you don't give me that paper right now-”

“Gotta go, Lassie, spirits are calling!” Shawn jumped over the extended arm and bolted for the door.

Lassiter turned his gaze to Gus who shook his head.

“I am not taking the rap for this one.” Then he pointed behind Lassiter. “Oh my gosh! Is that Bruce Willis?”

Lassiter spun and Gus followed in his treasonous partner's fast footsteps.

Juliet, at her desk, was stifling a giggle behind a hand.

Lassiter's expression was dark and thunderous.

“One of these days . . .” he muttered and stalked off, the station slowly finding its way back into the normal bustle of yet another day in Santa Barbara, California.